


Work and Roses

by Moonanstars



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mercenary days, can be romantic or friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29456634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonanstars/pseuds/Moonanstars
Summary: “You know this is going to be a lot easier to sell if you stop looking like you want to shoot me in the head.” Felix looked across the absurd little table at Locus.  His partner was currently slouched there with a scowl on his face that was appropriate for someone about to undergo waterboarding.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Work and Roses

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AgentGreyNevada](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentGreyNevada/gifts).



> For the RVB Gift Exchange.

“You know this is going to be a lot easier to sell if you stop looking like you want to shoot me in the head.” Felix looked across the absurd little table at Locus. His partner was currently slouched there with a scowl on his face that was appropriate for someone about to undergo waterboarding.

Locus managed to sit up a fraction more but the scowl was still there. “I don’t want to shoot you.” 

“No, but you pictured it didn’t you?” The way that Locus was now frowning so deeply his brows were practically touching in the middle told Felix he was right. He smirked and reached across the table to straighten Locus’ tie. There was a slight twitch of fingers when he did it but since his partner didn’t punch him in the face he knew he was getting away with it for now. “Look our mark is supposed to be here to bring his latest floozy to dinner so we have to blend in.” 

He gestured around them at the restaurant decorated all in red, pink and white with hearts on every surface. “Since it’s obvious that the only people in here are the ones on a date celebrating this ridiculous old Earth holiday that means to blend in we need to be on a date.” It was obvious that Locus was going to protest so Felix kicked him under the table to shut him up and leaned forward. “You lost the fucking coin toss to Siris so just shut up and try to look like I’m not burning you with a cigarette lighter for five god damn minutes so we can collect our bounty.” He managed to hiss that out without losing the smirk on his face.

He could tell there was a war going on between Locus’ desire to be the best at his job and his dislike of the entire situation. It looked like it might not tip the right way for a minute but finally Locus sat up straighter in his chair and eased the constipated look off his face. He might not look like he was enjoying himself but at least he didn’t look like he was being tortured anymore. 

“That’s better.” Felix knew that Siris would alert them over the comms when their target was approaching so he didn’t bother looking for him. Instead he was keeping an eye on who else and what kind of armaments there might be in the restaurant with them. So far it was looking pretty much like there was bupkis to watch out for. Mostly it was a mix of normal folks. There wasn’t even anyone else there that looked like they were ex-military. It wasn’t that they didn’t have those here, he and Locus fit in on the streets and no one was looking at them like they were anything unusual. Maybe it was just that this holiday appealed more to the mix of really young couples they were in the middle of. There was no room for fantasy and fluff after you’d been up to your shoulders in the chest of an alien pulling out anything you thought might make them finally keel the fuck over and die. 

Felix was usually the less touchy of the two of them but the arrival of someone at the table in his blind spot when he was thinking about the war meant he reached under the table to pull his knife out of his sleeve. Before he could get to the blade Locus’ hand clamped down on his wrist in a vise-like grip.

“Can I get you anything?” It wasn’t an enemy, it was just the damn waitress and he’d almost fucking blown it. For a few seconds he thought about drawing his knife and killing her anyway. She’d made him lose his cool and fuck up so maybe he’d just fuck her up. 

Obviously, Locus knew him too well because his fingers dug into the tendons of Felix’s wrist making his fingers go numb before he could act on the half formed impulse to cut the waitress. Somehow Locus managed something that was almost a smile and dragged Felix’s arm out and pinned it to the table while somehow making it look like he was just holding on like a normal person instead of holding Felix in a nerve lock. The bastard! He wasn’t allowed to play the game better than Felix was!

Twisting his face back into a pleasant smile Felix looked up at the waitress. “Well we haven’t even looked at the menu yet but did I see someone selling flowers earlier?” It was a small victory when he didn’t show his discomfort as the fingers dug into his nerves again.

“Oh sure.” The waitress seemed oblivious to the power struggle going on between the two of them. “I’ll send them over and give you a few more minutes to look over the menu.” With a very too perky smile she turned with a bounce of her ponytail and signalled to someone with a wicker basket full of flowers. 

Locus’ fingers hadn’t loosened up yet. “Don’t.” 

“Oh loosen the fuck up, it’s for our cover right?” Felix was about to start sweating from the pressure on his nerve points when Locus’ fingers finally relaxed. He didn’t let go of Felix’s arm but at least he wasn’t trying to make him cry ‘uncle’ anymore. Now that the pressure was off the warmth of the hand felt good on the abused nerve endings so Felix let it ride. 

As soon as the guy with the flowers got to the table Felix put his best charming smile on and swore he could hear Locus’ teeth grinding even though he managed to keep his expression neutral. That was really the best outcome you could hope for with Locus. He was scary when he frowned but he was downright terrifying when he tried to fake a smile. People were sure he was going to leap on them and rip their throat out with his teeth when he faked looking happy. “So, I need something special...it’s our anniversary you know...what can you recommend?” 

And there went the fingers in Felix’s wrist again.

It was worth it. 

Felix was going to make a show of picking out something for his imaginary anniversary to draw things out and make Locus absolutely seethe without being able to do anything about it when Siris beeped the comms. _”Target incoming. One armed bodyguard and one rent a date on his arm. I’ll meet you at the back exit.”_

“I’ll take this one.” It was just a simple red rose, of all the damn plants that adapted well to alien planets it was the stupid roses. Getting a decent apple was almost impossible but you could buy your date a red rose on two dozen colony worlds at least. “Add it to our bill okay?” The bill they were about to stiff as they captured their bounty but who the hell cared? Like they would ever eat at this shithole again. 

Since they had to wait for the target to enter completely for the apprehension Felix held the rose out to Locus. “Happy whatever this stupid holiday is. Don’t say I never get you anything.” 

Locus frowned at the flower, this time it was his stupid ‘I don’t understand your human customs’ frown. Felix saw the target over Locus’ shoulder and tapped him on the nose with the rose. “I bet you aren’t _ready_ for this. In _two_ seconds you and I are going to make each other’s night.” 

Locus let go of his arm and plucked the flower out of his fingers. Then the time was up, the target and his rent-a-date were passing by Locus with the bodyguard trailing behind them. Felix didn’t even bother worrying about the bodyguard. That was Locus’ problem. He stood up and grabbed the target around the neck with one arm and planted his foot in the date’s ass to shove her forward a few steps toward a table. There was a crash as she knocked all the dishes off and rolled into the lap of one of the people eating there. Before the target could think too much about trying to get away Felix pulled a small stun gun out of the small of his back and gave him enough of a zap he went limp. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” He gestured for Locus to come help him with the dead weight. He stepped over the unconscious...or maybe dead it was actually kind of hard to tell...bodyguard and took his other arm to help drag him to the exit. “Did you kill him?” He was kind of curious, he might have liked to watch if he killed the guy. 

Locus shook his head. “He hit his head when he went down. He should survive.” 

They made their way quickly through the kitchen to the back exit. Things had gone so well the screaming was just really starting to crank up as they went out the back and met up with Siris. “Hey Siris, I don’t think we’ll be allowed back here anymore.” 

“Funny, come on let’s just go drop this guy off and get paid.” Siris led them down the alley away from the restaurant. 

Locus wasn’t saying much, not all that unusual, but he usually at least acknowledged Siris so Felix looked over the sack of unconscious asshole they were dragging with them. “So, how was our date? Think we’ll ever have another?” 

“It wasn’t a date. It was an assignment.” 

Well that was just no fun. He’d expected a better reaction than that so Felix tried again. “What? I brought you a flower so it was totally a date. That’s a rule Locus.” And now Locus was completely clammed up and...was his neck turning red? There was no way the asshole they were carrying weighed enough to make Locus struggle and turn red. 

Holy shit, he was turned red because of the whole date thing!

“Where’s your flower Locus? Don’t tell me you threw it out, that thing cost me money. That thing should be pressed in a book and saved as a memento. It was our first date, don't you have any respect?” 

“You didn’t pay for it.” The skin of Locus’ neck was almost brick red by this point. There was no way Felix was going to point it out and lose out on maybe getting to see it again at some point. 

“You kept it didn’t you?” The way that Locus’ jaw clenched and he didn’t answer was all the answer Felix needed. 

He’d kept the rose. 

And the game point for the night to Felix. Feeling a sense of utter smugness, Felix started to whistle as they left the alley and made their way to the car. Catching their paycheck put him in a good mood. Knowing the great stone giant had kept the rose put him in an even better one.

What a great night!


End file.
